Aidee Douglas

Today I was in the store and I’m picking tomatoes and a an unknown women comes close to my personal area, I was feeling uncomfortable and then she said out loud “gezz I can’t believe the tomatoes are $1.87, every week things get more and more expensive” she paused and finish with “Good Bless America”. WHAT?? REALLY LADY?? God bless America because the tomatoes are $1.87??!?!

I’m just completely in shock about how unfortunate we think we are. People look around, not around your neighborhood, look around the world. We are blessed!

www.eatinganimals.com

There is not a rule about me making decisions. Like some times I’m really sharp and fast about it (that makes me feel very proud and mature about myself) but sometimes I just truly do not know what to do and I can spend hours and days struggling about the decision. Literal agony! It’s like I’m waiting for this big revelation to just come and give the spectacular solution. The decisions can be big or little ones, it doesn’t matter.

This time it’s about my professional life. Right now, I have two job offers. One is for this cool trendy job. You know, working with one of my favorite things: SHOES!!!  I get to work with awesome people and have a really cool time while I work. The other job is not as cool. I would be doing sheets and more sheets of Excel full of numbers and then I will have to make phone calls to those whose numbers are in red.

The difference is the MONEY!! First job not much ching-ching; the second job pays almost twice. I know with this fact the answer should be easy, but what about quality of life and happiness and doing what you love and all that crap. What matters most? Money or happiness? Money makes you happy, right?

The fear of making the wrong decision can be completely debilitating. We all deal with this in different levels. We don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to work in a company doing tasks that make me cheerless and have head pains to get paid what I think I deserve. I wish I could commingle the jobs to have THE perfecto job.

I’m annoyed by this constant argument inside of my head. So let’s let my YES/NO iPhone App decide for me. I do that all the time. Seriously, I don’t know where I would be with out this App. Matter of fact, I don’t know what I would do with out my iPhone, and I know everybody says that but my heart is speaking when I say my phone is my life. My personal importance list goes like this: husband, phone, Olivia (our dog), the rest of the family. The phone is in second place people!!!! Anyway, I’m getting off topic here.

No matter what decision I make I’m going to be happy with it, because I never regret anything and because I truly believe my decisions are always the best.

Life needs to be GOOD. Find your OWN and precious definition of GOOD.  For me good means to come home after work in a happy mood to be able to enjoy the little incredible every day things around me. Like seeing my little doggie doing some kind of shimmy-shake in the lower torso with an exaggeration of tail move or laughing unstoppably from the silliness of my blue eyed man.

I love this clip!

There are different things I don’t like to talk with anybody other than my husband, not even with my closest friends or family members. I would love to talk to anybody about why I have chosen the way I eat, and my political and religious views per say. It sounds like a cool thing to do, but in reality its hard to do. At least for me it is.

It would be so interesting to hear somebody else share with me their views of the current hot controversial phenomenon. I really think it would be pretty amazing to listen to one of my lovable close friends share this kind of stuff with me. If they differ from my beliefs, they are probably going to be wrong because I’m always right. But still it would be fun to discus and share and maybe after all that sharing while drinking tequila something magical happens. Maybe we come out with a innovative opinion. If we really open our hearts and our brain, amazing things can happen, right? For example, maybe the person that doesn’t accept gayness comes to senses and sees it as cool and acceptable. Drastic right? Well it can happen, a lot of my ideas have been changed just by reading a book.

I wish I was brave enough to talk about everything with everybody. I used to be brave, but that got lost with the “you are a lady you need to act like one”; all that politeness stuff.

Just because we are afraid of conflict and because we know we think differently we don’t touch those subjects. That’s pathetic. I had very uncomfortable situations with family members and with one of my closest friends in the past because we couldn’t handle somebody else thinking differently, (people around me should just give up and know that I’m always right). I don’t like the feeling that comes after having a conversation like that. Weird awkwardness! I guess I need to just shut my mouth or if I talk about the unspeakable, I should do it with people that think like me, so we just agree. How boring right? Yea those people just re-affirm that I’m right to think the way I think and that I don’t need to change. OMG! That is totally lame and one of the things I hate most about anybody.

I’m changing. I should now go to anybody that I know (and the ones I don’t know too – why not right? let’s make it more awkward) and start telling my position and my mental analysis of crucial situations. I have a better idea. Yep! You got it, I’m just going to write it now so I don’t have to repeat myself over and over again.

Political views

I was born in 1984 and I’m from Mexico, I don’t really know the politics of this country in deep, but I love this country just the same. I really do. I have consciously and with full awareness lived in the era of Clinton, Bush, and now Obama. Because where I’m from I don’t think cheating concerns me very much. Clinton gets a smile from me. On the other hand talking like a moron I do judge, so Bush gets a sad face. Again because were I’m from I do expect very little from politicians because they all lie to you. I never believe them.

Positively sad I always expect the worst.

My travels around the globe have giving me a way to see things and to see the ways other countries see this nation. So with Obama, I’m just glad he shows the world that Bush-Cheney is not who we are as nation. America is not what it has come to appear to be.

This country is among the most culturally, racially and religiously diverse on the planet. And that is why I give Obama a mini-smiley face. I didn’t give him a full one because he is not doing some stuff I would like him to. So for who will I be voting next? Who ever lies the best!

Vegetarian/Vegan

I will probably write a whole post about this subject in the future. I’m not wishy-washy when it comes down to this. My opinion msy be very strong and insulting but killing animals it’s wrong it gives me a sad face. Eating them is nasty and it gives me a sad face too. Using any animal for entertainment is wrong and it makes me cry a lot. And I would consciously never pay for anything that has caused any pain/sadness to any being, including those shoes that I adore so much and smell and feel so good.

I do have leather shoes from when I was a complete spoiled-selfish-female. I actually give away some LV handbags because I was a radical and I had to break the sick relation I had with them. Sleeping with your handbags it’s not normal! Anyway, now I do canvas.

I would love to go and protest out side of butcher shop, leather retail stores, etc., but that truly does not give me a smile so I don’t do it. But I’m glad somebody is doing it. I do make letters to different industrial organizations that are NOT doing sexy heroic things for this world.

Religion

I was born Catholic. A pretty conservative church. Do I agree with what they stand for? Mmmmm NOPE! Half of all the things they stand for make me laugh and some of the facts from the past horrify me. I believe that it’s important to find a church that fits the best with your ethics. Whatever feels right in your heart. And if you don’t believe in churches or God or anything, I think that is cool too! I totally understand you. I do kind of like to have a God. it makes me smile.

Think outside the box. Just be aware, informed and ask a lot of questions.

peace out!

Los Douglas are moving to Jacksonville, Florida. It’s a 17hr drive to there! We are moving to live close to family and because we are gypsies and want to keep rocking the people in this world with our presence.

We want to spread the love.

My man left yesterday, a week prior to our real-good bye-San Antonio-date to find us a place and to take his car and one of our doggies. He is going to stay at his sister’s. He is coming back in 4 days.

Do I have a hard time every time when he goes any where for more than a day? OH MY GOD, YES!!!

Yesterday morning when he was living I was crying, sobbing, panicking, I put on my whole drama show. CRAZY and lame, a total breakfast delight! I knew he had to go; its not like he was going to stay just because I was crying, I didn’t even wanted him to stay. I knew he had to go. But still, my emotions took over me, always!

It all started when I woke up at 4am and start my drama show. Crying in the dark until he woke up. He just hugged me and told me it was going to be OK until I fell back to sleep. He knows what to do. Every time he has to go out of town it is the same story with me. My mind goes to a weird place. Like I start thinking that something ugly is going to happen to him. I get the fact that “something” can happen to him everywhere. I KNOW THAT!!! But my brain doesn’t get it and some how thinks that because I’m around I protect him.

PROTECT HIM?? Really? It actually works the other way around. This is not so bad. Let me tell you, when we where newlyweds it took me like 3 months to NOT cry every morning when he was leaving to work!!!! INSANE! I know.

Why? Is love supposed to be this crazy? Is it just me being loco?

I’ve come to realize that he is my drug of choice.

I don’t smoke, I can live with out alcohol, no drugs, I am not even addicted to coffee (I was addicted to coffee before him). My point is that I don’t have any addictions, so the only thing that makes my head spin is him. He is my addiction, my drug of choice. It’s not the kind of drug that makes you say, please rehab me before I am 80 pounds and poor, living on the streets with 20 cats looking for my next fix. It’s the kind of drug that puts me really high with out any side effects.

WAIT! Lets analyze what I just wrote. It makes me high with out any side effects. OH PLEASE, AIDEE STOP WITH THESE LIES!

Of course I have side effects! Lets just go back and read the second paragraph.  I wrote I was crying, sobbing, and panicking. That is my side effect. I was upset for two days! I’m still upset! I don’t feel like doing anything. All I want to do is sleep.  So with out question, he is my  happy drug with side effects and all.

Love is good. It makes you cry a little but it also makes you do extraordinary things. EXTRAORDINARY THINGS.

So today I had lunch with my girls. By the way I always have a great group of girls around me.

Like seriously, I can’t understand how some girls even dare to say that all they have as friends is boys. Boys are OK as friends, but I truly feel that they do want to sleep with you. There are some exceptions, but not many. My brother implanted that thought with me since I was little. He would say “he is not your friend, he likes you.” Anyway, no matter where I live, I always have an awesome group of girlfriends. They are always funny and smart and just the best of the best.

For example, today during my lunch I was convinced and determined to convince them that I had some kind of obsessive disorder. The fact that one of my girlfriends is a school psychologist and right away she dignosed that I don’t really have OCD. Of course, she was right. Still, like a lot of people, I have some pretty funny obsessive tendencies.

I obsess about any and everything. Like there was a moment in my life where all I ate was cabbage, then watermelon, then cucumbers. When I like something I just can’t see things any other way. Oh, let me mention the time I was dating my man and we where in the car and I got all frantic and crazy because he suggested that I was drinking too much diet coke. This was a total addict’s behavior.

Another time was when I decided that my favorite color was pink. I was two years old then, My mom painted the walls of my room pink, my covers where pink, the blinds where pink, the curtains where pink, too. And all my clothes had to be pink – that changed when I turned 8. But my room was still pink until I was 24, and that is when I got married. Obviously my husband would not accept a pink room. I do have a pink bathroom now though. Did I mention that I moved several times and I tried to change my room theme and it never worked? It always ended up being PINK, and I’m not talking about a nice pastel pink. I’m talking about a bright shinny pink.

Just now I’m obsessed about talking about my room. I can’t stop. My obsession with pink stopped a little once Victoria Secret decided to launch their name brand PINK.

I know stories about my mom’s father, my grandfather, being very particular and meticulous about certain things. Like checking if the doors where closed 20 times or washing his hands over and over again and calling one of his seven kiddos to close the faucet. Of course back then nobody new he had a disorder.

You know back in the day doctors where not aware of any brain disorders with the same degree of certainty as today. You couldn’t be diagnosed with something like that. People were either crazy or not. I never got to meet my grandfather. He died 7 years before I was born. But I do hear stories about his “crazy” behaviors. By the way, I also have a little bit of Alzheimers. And to prove that, just now I wanted to write the name of my abuelo and I couldn’t remember his name. Word. My grandfather from my dad’s side had Alzheimers.

I have all kinds of undiagnosed disorders. I also have Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, especially if you are giving me directions to go somewhere. I would nod my head like a Bobblehead car toy and pretend very well that I’m listening on the outside but on the inside all I’m thinking is “look at the shinny object behind his/her head”. My brain shuts down.

I have to mention one of my brother’s other teachings about dating. His theory was that I should simply nod my head everytime I was going out for a date and pretend I was listening while I look the boys in their eyes. That stoped me from talking like a crazy lady. Because that is what I do. I can talk for hours, nonstop, And I don’t even need anybody to talk to or it doesn’t even need to make sense. For all of you men out there that I once dated and thought I was very interested in your conversation, you’ll be sad to find out now that it was all part of my brother’s teachings. I may not have been listening.

Anyway, right now my new obsession is France. I’ve been eating beignets and a small café crème for breakfast almost every day for the last two weeks. Right now I’m wearing a shirt that has a picture of the Eiffel tower , I’m reading two books about French women. And I so want to wear a scarf around my neck, start smoking long cigarettes and talk about how many lovers I’ve had.

How very French of me, right?

So since I don’t have Internet at the moment at my house I had to come to Barnes and Noble to make use of their free Wi-Fi.  Cool deal, right?

I feel full of ideas and wanting to write about a bunch of stuff. Oh yeah baby I’m completely ener-juiced with a yummy tea by my side and ready to give color to this papel!

I think it’s a good time to talk about the awesomeness of being Mexican in America.  That is a pretty cool thing. Like I was born in Amarillo, Texas, but my entire life I was raised in Mexico until I went to college in North Carolina. Being the brown one in college was kind of sexy. Some people had crazy stories about animosity against them, but I was lucky and never had any problems with anybody. You are probably like what? You never had anybody looking at you weird because of your accent or color? NOPE! If I did, I probably blocked that away. Pretty smart huh? I tend to block any ugliness around me, except when my mother is not behaving; that I remember forever.

Sometimes I wish I was from another country; something more exotic. Over all I’m pretty happy with my Mexicanity. I have a great natural tan skin all year around. Don’t need to get my skin all wrinkled getting tan; yuhu! I have a pretty thick accent and I love it. My husband makes fun of my accent all the time (in a sweet way), but that is great because when we are really bored he starts imitating me and that is I-will-pee-in-my-pants-if-you-don’t-stop funny. I wish I had a video of him imitating me so I can show it to you all. Actually, not. If I had a video it probably wouldn’t be has funny for you all because that is how it is with personal story jokes.

Thanks to my Mexicanity I can blame a lot of my strange behaviors to it.  It’s not me, its my nationality, it’s in the blood. I’m actually perfect. Like when I laugh at the movie theater and clap at the same time. Everybody looks at me like “that is not even funny lady.” My hugging and kissing everybody has given me some awkward moments. I get the most wild looks from moms when I kiss and hug the little babies. But, in Mexico we kiss and hug everyone, especially little ones. They need the most love. They do not know I’m doing it for their own good.

I can give “mal de ojo” to their little one. Nobody wants that. The legend tells that I once had mal de ojo when I was a little baby girl and I was sick with temperature and crying for days until they did a cleanse with an egg. WOW! Just writing that makes me laugh.  See being Mexican its awesome.

I get the best of both worlds. I have all the traditions and crazy costumes of being Mexican and I also get the safety and hope of the American culture. What a great deal right? Better than the dollar menu at McDonalds! By the way I took a picture with the clown from McDonalds this past weekend; nice right?

I love, love, love chef Roberto Martin!